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Posts tagged ‘cougar singles’

Why Men Like Older Women

cougar looking for younger menReason #1: Older women avoid putting pressure on the men they date

Want to know the quickest way in a budding relationship to send a man running in the opposite direction? Pressure him about settling down, “putting a ring on it” or having kids — things that a woman in her mid-to-late 40s and early 50s hardly ever does with her dates. “Because she’s not at an age where her biological clock is ticking loudly or all of her friends are just getting married, the desire to settle down isn’t an older woman’s main romantic goal,” explains Jennifer Bidwell, a dating and relationships coach in Washington, D.C. “This is a huge reason why a man — especially a younger one who isn’t completely ready for all of those life-changing experiences — will be attracted to someone in her 40s or 50s,” says Bidwell. To avoid putting an uncomfortable squeeze on the man you’re seeing, Bidwell advises adopting a couldn’t-care-less attitude about getting serious — even if it’s really your top priority: “By adopting that cougar-esque practice of acting nonchalant about commitment in the early stages of a relationship, you’ll allow your guy to give himself to you more freely and completely, because he won’t feel the weight of your need to find Mr. Right right now.”

Reason #2: Older women keep it classy when they go out looking to meet men

Though Girls Gone Wild-type behavior seems to be de rigeur (in bars and clubs after midnight, anyway), most women in their 40s and 50s know better than to lie across a bar and offer a random stranger the chance to do a body shot off of them. “Sadly, skanky going-out behavior seems to be the norm amongst many young single women these days,” Bidwell explains. “It may be alluring on a purely ‘I’d like to sleep with her’ level, but no man I’ve ever met wants to enter into a serious relationship with a woman who struts into the bar with her boobs falling out of her dress, gets sloppily drunk, or seductively dances on tables at a club.” It’s OK to have a regrettable ladies’ night out when you’re with your girlfriends, but if you’re looking for a real relationship, keep your nightlife behavior strictly above-board, Bidwell advises: “When you’re out and looking to attract a man, make like an older woman and sip on a classic cocktail — like a dirty martini or a Manhattan — and dress to look pretty, not be provocative.”

Reason #3: Older women know their way around the bedroom

It’s no secret that men love physical affection, but as with anything, not all intimacy is created equal. Because midlife women sometimes have 20 (or more) years of experience over their younger counterparts, their seduction know-how can be pretty extensive — and really, what man would complain about a woman who knows exactly how to please him? “Experience used to disqualify women from being respectable sexual partners; but now, that same experience has value — and it’s part of what many men are looking for,” says Dr. Pepper Schwartz, author of Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years. In order to make up for your relative lack of experience, she suggests reading up on some new techniques. “There are countless books, videos, websites and even blogs on these techniques, all of which can be accessed in the privacy of your own home,” Bidwell advises. She also suggests asking lots of questions when you’re in bed together: “Not all men like the same things, but there are a few constants. The easiest way to learn is to come right out and ask your partner what he likes and what feels good to him, and then remember it for the next time — whether it’s with him or someone else!”

Reason #4: Older women can pick up the tab (and actually enjoy doing it)

Sure, men usually enjoy treating a woman to a romantic evening out, but Dr. Schwartz says there’s something awfully sexy about a woman who’s not only willing, but also more than able to foot the bill when it comes. “When a woman has economic means of her own — which many older women do — men love it,” she explains. “There’s something very alluring about a woman who can take care of a man and doesn’t necessarily need it to be the other way around.” Though many older women have bank accounts that reflect many more years of career earnings (or even alimony payments), you can still radiate financial independence — even if you’re on a tight budget. “Look for deals at hot restaurants or destinations offered through sites like LivingSocial or Groupon,” Bidwell suggests. “Make a reservation for you and your date, but call ahead to cash in the voucher; that way, it’s already been taken off the check once the bill arrives for you to pay. You’ll look like a big spender, but he’ll be none the wiser.”

Reason #5: Older women aren’t coy about making the first move

Both Bidwell and Dr. Schwartz say that perhaps the sexiest thing about older women is their readiness to take the lead — be it asking for a date, kissing someone or simply initiating a conversation. “Forget The Rules — what makes these women irresistible to men is their assertiveness,” says Bidwell. “Sometimes, being in the passenger’s seat and not the driver’s seat is the biggest turn-on for a man. I can’t tell you how many men have told me that they find it incredibly sexy when a woman confidently approaches to say that she finds him attractive, offers to buy him a drink, or even tells him what she likes in the bedroom.” In order to channel this type of self-assuredness, Dr. Schwartz advises simply acting like you know what you’re doing — and that you’re enjoying it. “When making the first move with a man, do so without hesitation — even if you have to fake your confidence! Men like to know that their partner is very excited and happy to be doing whatever they are doing together… not that it’s taking up all the courage that this person can muster,” she explains. When you show pleasure, comfort and confidence in everything you do, it will be hard for men to resist you, asserts Dr. Schwartz.

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2 Reasons Older Women Love To Date Younger man

Have you ever wondered why older women dating younger man? What’s the big deal anyways?

So many guys ask me what is up with older women dating younger man. There is actually an evolutionary psychological theory surrounding this common “phenomenon.” There have been many studies conducted exploring the reasons behind older women dating younger man.
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Women in all categories prefer younger partners. Studies show older women prefer youth and handsome first for mate selection and man choose women who offer resources and stability. It’s no surprise there are a number of websites emerging and profiting from these “mutually benefiting” relationships. The “successful older woman” seeking “young attractive male” is common place. Let’s reveal some of the reasons behind older women dating younger man.

1. Her having a mid-life crisis. Well this is an easy explanation. Women, who feel they’ve been “tied down” for far too long or what he considers a marriage of obligation, feel as if her been cheated of her youth and her “fun years.” It’s as if she seeks a younger man to replace her older HB and convince herself somehow dating a younger man will bring back his youthfulness and give her a second chance to have fun again.

A sexy dating a younger man is not like having a time machine. This is about the same time she spends her money more freely on extravagant man toys, replaces her wardrobe, invests in hair club for women and maybe hires a personal trainer. Some women date  younger man to prove to themselves they haven’t lost her touch.

2. Women assume all man their age are like their partner. As the saying goes, “Once burnt, twice shy.” Some women have this ridiculous belief man their own age are all the same. I’ll share an example. If her had a bad experience with her partner going through menopause, frankly it scares the crap out of him to think about having to go through it all over again with someone new.

Menopause seems to be a cause for many failed marriages or at least that’s what some women I’ve talked with blame it on. If she ever been online dating or on a few sour blind dates with a man who’s still bitter about her break up; all of a sudden she thinks they’re all like that.
Younger man, who have never been in a serious relationship or “tainted” by a bad marriage seem like a great option for an older women, believing this will be a stress and drama free relationship. Unfortunately for her, she assumptions about dating a younger man being “hassle-free” may be very, very wrong. Most relationship require work and cooperation to make it successful.
Thankfully not all older women seeking younger man for a relationship. When you consider what makes a successful long-term, healthy relationship last, age is just one consideration in a number of relationship factors to consider. (more…)

5 Tips for Older Women Dating Younger Men

Are you a cougar? Do you want to meet a younger man and are afraid of getting your heart broken? If so,you’re not alone. No age limit in front of true love! Here are some tips to finding and keeping a younger man, who can keep up with your hot, vibrant self:

1. Be Confident

Men are attracted to confident women regardless of their age. This will actually play in your favor. Younger women tend to have more insecurities as they are still figuring out their place in the world, drawn to dating “bad boys” and are more likely to play games with the men that they date. On the other hand, older women are already established, are more comfortable in their skin and are finished with all the BS games they played when they were younger. This is a big reason why younger men find older women so attractive. Remember that you have a great deal to offer any man worthy of your attention, whatever his age may be.

2.Date with No Fear

This is not your first rodeo. At this point in your life you have probably been married before, have kids or made the choice to have neither. Either way, you know that a man isn’t going to make or break you. This strength is another trait that attracts younger men to older women. It takes a grImageeat deal of the pressure off of them and the relationship. Older women aren’t inclined rush into a commitment too quickly. They continue to date other men until a relationship is established. They understand that a date is just a date and not a marriage proposal. If there’s no second date, it’s not a big deal. Your world isn’t crushed because one man didn’t call back.

3.Don’t Assume He Will Cheat

As you are aging you may begin to feel insecure that he will begin to find you unattractive. If you have been together long enough for your body to go through significant changes, you should have more than a physical connection. If he’s a cheater, it wouldn’t matter how old you are. He would still cheat. Besides, he’s also aging and you could easily trade him in for a younger model as well. Don’t let him forget that.

4.Enjoy Your Differences

Some women are afraid they will have nothing in common with a much younger man. This doesn’t have to be a negative. Enjoy learning about each other’s music preferences, hobbies and experiences. These differences will keep the relationship fresh and exciting.

5.Take Care of Yourself

If you are the type of woman who is drawn to and attracts younger men, you are most likely already health conscious. You probably have more energy than other women your age and are more of a free-spirited, independent woman. However, most young men aren’t known for living a healthy lifestyle. Although age is only a number when it comes to dating, it isn’t when it comes to your body. Don’t forget that you no longer have the metabolism of a 20-year-old. If you allow your diet and exercise to fall to the way-side, you won’t have the energy, stamina and youthful looks you had when you first met your nubile stud. Of course, your new stud-muffin is probably giving you plenty of exercise in the bedroom. So, a drop in your pilates classes won’t be noticed.

Making the decision to date a younger man can be exciting, intriguing and terrifying for a woman.  In the long run, as long as you are both happy and enjoying each other’s company, the difference in age shouldn’t be an issue. Dating a younger man is no different than dating a man closer to your age as long as you are a good fit for each other.